sat. july 30th 2011 @ 1:02pm ( still nothing settled to change outcome for my home situation)

I went yesterday to meet with a lawyer  and see if an injunction  can be ordered by; a judge and stop or post pone  the  transfer of title…   i showed her the paperwork  had on the condo and then we pulled up a ton of other stuff on me and the condo….   it is a total mess….  i even went to the church to say my novena… and ask the priest  to bless my lottery tickets…  but i’m tired.. and no one is helping.. can’t seem to get through to anyone… and the people  i get a hold of can’t seem to help…  


I contacted pat Blackwell on Facebook and he  said his dad judge Backwell is retired and all his friends are retired.. and  cant help… bottom line even though i keep being told  that my friends and family really love me… no one can help… and it is not like them… but i’m stuck talking to whoever is on the phone and whatever  they tell me… i still feel sick to my stomach and have already cried a few times today… but   everyone i speak with thinks that it is still  alright that  have been through  the worst experiences  of my life.. for the past  8 years…. and  that one more  horrible experience wil be just  fine ..  i wont be but no one really cares..its just words…  so i thought i should put it out here.. all the horrible experiences and what people told me.. and how they tried to justify that  it was o.k. to sacrifice my life…my  businesses… my hopes and my wants and my dreams…   i want to write all of the truth.. because stories seem to get all mixed up  when you can t defend them.. and i’m sure there  will be tons of lies and horrid stories told… one asshole wanted me to go through bad experiences and use the  inf  to  write a book using my email address as the title…  you know WHATABTMARY…. OR MAYBE HE WAS GOING  TO SPELL IT OUT AS THE  OTHER EMAIL ADDRESS CREATED BUT NOT MINE…. WHATABOUTMARY….  who knows.. everyone had a reason  to use me.. i guess if it wasn’t the con artists trying   to  scam putting me through hell… it was some really mean and evil peole who actually liked to see me cry or do without or whatever…       don’t get me wrong there were people on my side… who were great and wonderful and to them i send love and  thanks…. but i totally understand… they are probably tired of  helping  when all it  seems to be are bad experiences…  they probably want  all of it stopped as much as i do…. 
so lets start from the  very beginning..  when i owned my own business was having a a great life but still wasn’t dating…. i mean  i was busy and really  picky..  I  still am in theory…  ( but after all of this who would want to date  me .. at least that is what one person told me over the phone… ) but  way back then…. i had nothing bad happen to me..  so it would have been so much easier …. way back then,,,,was probably a lot easier to have been able to  meet Mr right.. get married  and have a   family ….. which is something i always thought i would have had… i had actually had people tell me i would have made a great wife..or was  it a great  girlfriend….  
anyway.. that is not how anything went… it was suggested to me… to go and speak with this  lady Leslie.. to see why i was having such a tough time  finding  mr right.. i was so suggestible .if anyone suggested for me to do anything..i did it… so i was not only gullible..and nieve.. but so innocent..i never realized that  this would open up the  door for  a whole  lot of horrible expereinnces and my life would never be the same… . so i did …I went  to  her office… and just talked like any of my friends on the phone…. i told her i was working a lot… what  my; hopes and dreams were… and there were really never any issues.. to discuss…  i loved talking on the phone.. and to  my friends…  not over issues.. no major problems… not really anything… changed in my life… in fact  i was so busy  we ended up just talking on the  phone…and it was like talking to a  friend to talk to … but it cost me $50.00 each week/..HA!   finally i just stopped that  gosh i wonder how much money i wasted on that ?   anyway in 2003 i had met Gerard and worked for his sister Christine in Marco island on  a home they had…  i guess it was partly because leslie had been  trying to get me to break out of my  strict beliefs of what i wanted to date and marry …. that i overlooked a really  bad guy and  though it was time to open myself to dating someone… who may not have fit into anything i wanted.. BIG MISTAKE…..    anyway wrote about  him threatening to kill my mom..( over the phone… ) how he ended up  scaring me.. on the  phone… ..and seemed to like it….  and .how my sisters met him and were basicaly appalled…   
hurt my family get ownership of my /our mortgages… and ruin my family  and our lives… ….  ( lovely right? ) anyway  the stress….. the fear…. the stomach aches… I lost 20-30 lbs… in  a really short time frame….    my step father  at eh time don kensig  told me that i should go and “hide out” at  a clinic for a few weeks for a break… i was to the point of crying  and upset and  my wold had changed from all happiness and friends  and  dreams and goals… and  businesses.. and just  plans for a great future….
 but getting upset losing weight… and yet still trying to make sure everything t was alright.. everything looked alright… still keeping  a business  running… and still trying to be a thoughtful and great sister, daughter , niece cousin, whatever…..people wanted me to be ….  so the series of unfortunate evens are clear in what happened i mean the actual events.. but as for  what happened first or net i think I  actually tried to block out a great deal… and that part may be a bit jumbled … so bear with  me…  
after losing the  weight..  i was told so many things… but I remember don kensig  told me  i need a place to go to be “safe”   that  i needed “a break” from  the people and stress and that I wasn’t   dealing well enough with it…   and  when he and my; mom went on   their honemoon  they decided to put me  a clinic while they were gone…. i want anorexic .. or bulimic… or anything .. but he actually told me”to play along”. 
all i wanted was for people to stop picking on me….
 i remember some really bizarre instances… like this guy have a t-shirt… on .. and people talking about  how i could paint scenery  for a theater… or movies… or something…  and then i started to think that  the entire experience wasn’t for me  to hide out and be protected from gerard… or any of the threats but was some really weird experiences i just  wanted to get away from.
… but i couldn’t… leave…  so i guess  a place like that is where there  were some really  dysfuntional people…  and one girl i think her name was Ann… very sweet and nice … in fact she had a bob haircut like mine or got her hair cut like mine while i was there… and was teaching a guy who dressed like  girl to read…. anyway i though after i left i could just forget about it..never be labeled…. as having a problem( which i never did…. )   or have to go through anything ever was fact i have tried to keep all the experiences  of these last 8 years… the really bad ones…. I kept to my self… i didn’t want them used against me… and i didn’t want people to  ruin anymore of my   life  by  believing  a bunch of lies .. or let a bunch of horrible experiences define me or my life…. but each time i went though one more thing… it lowered my life my lifestyle and this housing thing is just too much… 
MY LIFE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE GREAT….. it wasn’t supposed to be like this at all and  i was not meant to be a “punching bag”  for these people to use to get money from my friends or colleges.. or to steal  anything… i am and was a real normal girl who had a basically happy disposition and  basically great life  and was working torwards a fantastic life….  a wonderful future…  and each year since  i met Gerard i have had to go though some  horrible experience… that seems to be directly related to a really horrible group of people that seem to be bent  harming me..whether it is stealing my possessions… or my business .. or even using my  relationships.. or just the  fact  that they isolate me form the people who love me  and  and  are my real friends… is a sign of abuse… let alone all the lies and bulling i have had to endure over the  phone.. in the mail and  in person…  then the lies that were told about me… lies i am still trying  to rectify…. but i cant… once a lie is out there..  it had been horrible to try to prove it is wrong…  
i think back and instead of actually being   good… and not lying or cheating or doing  anything illegal( o.k. a few speeding tickets… ) but I see the show weeds.. and other  shows that have people doing all sorts  of illegal occupations to get money.. or hurting people…  but yet they get away with it… and all i wanted to do was to have a great life… a great business.. and  loved my sisters.. my family, god, and friends… i loved nice things.. and planned to have a great life…  i knew it wouldn’t always be perfect.. but not these experiences…. these seemed to be mostly manipulated.. and   calculated… and done with malicious intent and done  on purpose….    sometimes i thought  people wanted  me out of my home.. like when they would want me to babysit  and then I  would  have something stolen.. or have my house  used ( like  someone  sleeping in my bed who left a Myrtle  beech golfing emblem… in my bed……  or someone  even using my food and eating diner… or worse yet entertaining in my home…    these were  all calculated instances of breaking the law.. usually harming me.. if not scaring me… or trying to get  me to move or to at the  very least get me out of my home…  someone  else can use it…  really rotten people… and  i can honestly say all this had destroyed my life.. 
so i know there times that people wer using me for all sorts of doctors visits.. when nothing was wrong… in fact one time a nurse said something about me having breast implants in an xray…. and   then not having breast implants… ( by the way i don’t have breast implants…. )  was it some insurance scam? or what putting a whole lot of info in a medical record… i still  hate  doctors and hospitals and any type of tests to this day…. 
but it seemed to be a horrid series of them…. with even don kensig giving me a present of medical insurance… so that he could make sure to keep having me got go through horrible experiences…  I think thee  people started to prey  on family and friends at this time.. for money… and started with all the lies… of course i was still running a business .. still keeping up my home.. my life.. and keeping quiet…..   pretending  that no one was  either threatening to do harm to me or having to be bullied into  experiences i never wanted….   
( side note.. i just got a call…. and  it was a person telling me i should  keep quiet about all of this…    i have kept quiet up until recently about most of the really bad stuff… or the experiences that really  changd me.. and  then people don’t  understand why i started sleeping with a night light  or when i had nightmares… or  how much these horrible experiences have changed my life.. my real life… oh they just called back to tell me that no one will ever want to date me as well… but i honestly think it is important to tell  the truth and its been too long keeping quiet … and letting  anyone and  every one harm my life… then threatening me that they will tell these horrid experiences.. and that no one will believe me.. that no one will like me or love me… or ever hire me… its been too long… and too much..  
I DID NOTHING WRONG   I DIDN’T DESERVE THIS….THIS WAS AND IS MY REAL LIFE…. I personally did not choose any of the horrible experiences.. and it wasn’t God’s will… it was a bunch of con artists… who sacrificed my life for  their  own selfish  benefit……  
i wanted to prosecute.. to make  sure  the people are held accountable and  responsible… that  they have to pay for their crimes.. and they are known so no one will ever have to go through any of this again…. 
 i also mentioned to my family that if anything should  happen to me they have all the information for a wrongful death suit… that no matter  what these people should be punished ……..
 So  after all  this… then it got even worse… honestly jsut always wanted to go back to a great and fun normal life…  i am not an actor.. or ever want to be… i am not a crimianl.. or a conartist… and nver wante to be…  but i had a great family, great friends, and some amazing experiences in my life….  
 i went to New York with my sisters  for my sister Maura’s birthday….  it was a horrible mistake… i was pretty thin about 100 lbs… but so are tons of women…  i ate.. just couldn’t eat as much…….after getting upset….. i didn’t   eat.. or i ran to get  rid of the anxiety… or if they really bullied me i ended hyperventilating… and  ended up  throwing up… anyway the trip ended up poorly &nb
  i came back to Naples early… and when  i was met at the airport…  people had other plans for me….   no vacation…. nothing nice… i was baker- acted….   it was taken to a floor that wasn’t  really being  used  in the hospital…  there were  sheets of plastic over the doors… and the weird thing was that one of the nurses looked like gerard…  the one who was really inquisitive about if i was pregnant and who had me take a pregnancy test…… (or  possibly she was a  part of his family)…. another odd thing this girl who was supposed to be anorexic.. was much heavier than i was….   when i noticed these things people got angry  with  me… as i was suppose  be quiet and  let anyone do anything they wanted to me.. and i wasn’t  supposed to ask questions.. or to make up my own mind about  anything …  but to do what i was told.. and just  wait….   
another weird thing was that  they had me take these classes… 
and  and  for the life of me i cant think of what reason they could  have  possibly used… there is specific criteria like harming yourself or others… i think I  was  thin ..defianatley  upset with situations…  and kept asking  for people to stop picking on me…. to stop harming me and my life…. 
this was the same  time frame when Gerard had  acused me of having an affair.. when i went to palm beach to see my sister almost each weekend… and told me he had been  told that i was dating some electrician who was Mexican… Also he accused me of being pregnant and that i was going  have an abortion…  so completely untrue…. i mean impossibly untrue….
  i am thinking  now that  the whole thing was a set up to see if i was pregnant..  to keep me somewhere  since i was still supposed to be in New York… or just to ruin more  of my life…   i mean did the  same  conartist group use  my home while i was away? ..Some  girls and boys had been using it…    when i went babysitting.. or when i went over to the other coast…   but to put me though hell..  and have me pay for the bill .. that seemed to  be the norm for these scummy people… and then on top of it all….  i was to keep quiet about it.. because  not only  did the events discredit my life.. me and my reputation.. but gave them fuel for more threats..  like threatening  to use…. the info to  harm me again….  to harm…me….. but once the group of people find out they can hurt me in one way.. they seem to repeat it again and again.. I actually had one person tell me it was to ” toughen me up” … well it did change me.. if that was the goal… but i don’t know if ruining my life was the goal.. if it was ..well then i guess like in  the immortal words of charlie sheen and  karn kahels  … “they won! they won!.”… they ruined a perfectly great life… and did it with malicious intent and with  calculated persistent…. 
stealing businesses.. and business files… and  personal items… and clothing and jewelry.. and everything else… keeping me away form begining   allowed to date.. to make new friends.. to  have dinner parties… to  just have a great life…. not fair… ….. i had someone on the phone tell  me once that  I had  had 36 years of a great life  and that is more than most people    …. 
so as in all the other horrible events  that have occurred…. on purpose…. they did  this same horrible experiences  three times in my live… i never had a drinking or drug problem…  i was never harming myself… or anyone else… or even threatening to harm myself or anyone else… they did not have witnesses.. to say that  they  saw me harming myself or any one else.. but because they were able to  do it once.. they did it again…  and once again i paid the bills for the horrible experiences.. .  what a shumck…. anyway… 
for 2007 someone was sending emails each and everyday to everyone i knew telling them how horrible i was…  even sent one to the priest … wanting to isolate me from any friend or family ember who actually liked me… or loved me for that matter….   i wanted to use those emails and the bully cards and mail sent  through the postal service  to prosecute ….  no one should have to go through that…. and after a full year of that type of email.. who  is going to believe me?  and they weren’t from my mom or from my friends …  and they weren’t on my behalf…. 
but its like the people who use my likeness… a girl  of 5 foot 4 height with  short blondish hair… from  the back could be anyone… so  i get thrown into  different families… or i am supposed to take on  certain problems.. or issues.. that I  never had…  and all of a sudden i have a  poor family.. or a mean family or  a family who hasn’t traveled….  to various countries.. or all sorts of things that  are different… its really nice when i have  a really nice and helpful people on the phone… people who  don’t  cut down my family  and who know maura is amazing.. and Mattie is remarkable…. who actually  encourage  hopes and passions.. and futures….  but because i am so average… average height, weight, looks…  people will manipulate me into a life and family ….. whether i asked for  the family or not… and that is that.. then i have to usually  try to correct 
anything that is wrong.. like  reminding  these people how remarkable my family is.. 
so there….. i said it… the  worst things possible to have gone through.. have happened and i have been terrified of it… especially when nothing was ever wrong with me.. i never needed any medication…. though  i think people wanted me to take drugs so I  woudl be “easier to handle”  i even had someone tell me they wanted me to go though  this because then i would be more  sympathetic  to dating a guy who had a drug or alcohol problem or was suicidal or  had other mental issue….  i guess a bit like carla  wanting me to marry her brother who had mental issues… because she thought i was patient enough and could  handle him and take care of him ….  
or like the time i took the teacher certification course..( that i paid one thousand dollars for)  i had one person tell me that matt dameon  married a teacher.. ( complete lie……… he married a bar tender right? ) anyway..  i took the course not for the fake reason of meeting someone who might want to date/marry  a teacher..( though i was told chris  did  marry a teacher) but because  the etiquette school needed a certified teacher to be able to create an internship prog
ram where we could  utilize all the   local talent in the colleges  and they could get college credit  and we could have some amazing people helping  with the school curriculum…. 
i was lied to a lot .. manipulated a lot….  an had a lot of people justify all  the horrid  expereinces i  had to through…. and not one of the experiences made me a better person… brought  a higher purpose to my life.. or enhanced my life in any way… or did they ever say they were sorry for what they did….. 
 if made  me fearful…  and  damaged everything….  you have no idea how it feel to have a bunch of people who don’t know you… or  care about you  try to figure out  what is wrong with you when there was nothing  ever wrong with me…  to have people decide because of all  these horrible experiences that i had to go though that  i am “damaged” or that  there must be something wrong with me.. so they go down the list… of  possible problems..  and will try to pin anything and everything  on me…  you have no idea what it is like to have  a group of people  harm your life on purpose…  instead of helping  my life… who are allowed  to say anything  they want and that is supposed to be the truth  even most of the time it is lies… and some of the lies have really damaged everything… 
 do you know  what it is like to prove you are competent?  that you  can and always have handled your  finances… your home   your business…..  i actually got a Westlaw account  after all of this.. so i could become more versed  in  legal knowledge  of cases and of the laws pertaining to  guardianship… of the responsibilities.. and how to stop it…. when you don’t need one…  basically how to gain your  life back…  ( if you look  up under the incidents… there were  cards sent and cards stolen  from my mail box… ( should have had the locks for that changed… never did… )  anyway…   part of this home association fee mess is that i thought the guardian  was still  involved…. and taking care of things… at this point i was  completely and utterly disgusted with  everything.. everything i had been though .. and everyrthng   that was messed up and jsut couldn’t seem to be fixed…. 
i guess there shouldn’t be as much of a stigma   when someone has bullied  you  the point of losing 30 lbs.. and people  are worried that you can’t handle “it” anymore  and  they put you in a facility because they think ae suicidal… but in truth… it changes everything.. even when its not yoru fault..even when you didnt ask to be bullied or harmed or anything…. it changes everything.. you all of a sudden get lumped into a group of peole who are really having mental issues.. and  its a mess….. especialy if someone tries to say that those other people’s problems  are yours… 
 i had a man who came  to my home  and ask me if i could cook… ( as if i couldn’t cook for myself….    i thought he wanted to know  the extent  of my cooking  skills.. so i told  him  i could a bit…  i can make a beef wellington, spaghetti  sauce .. and all sorts of foods… i have a few that are  easier than others…   but  i cannot make a hollindale sauce…  if truth  be told… )  he looked over my home ( usually neat as a pin) and  asked me what seemed to be such stupid questions… like  the day…the time…  etc.  what  a waste for tax payers money… and of lawyers fees.. and of everything ..  the after effects of all of this… i have to continually prove myself…   even  for this past week  going  through the entire home ordeal l… the police were  called to my home 3-4 times  from people  thinking i was suicidal.. i told then  i am not … not going to kill myself  today… i had to show  them my well stocked refrigerator.. and freezer and  pantry.. and had to walk them though  my home…   usually neat and organized… 
I put in the posts an email reply from   one really nice police officer… actually all the police officers have been really nice…  and  seem to  understand that i have had a lot of  people who purposely picked on me…….( often on the phone) and have done some serious damage to my reputation though letters and emails..  and  no one stopped them…   
All I wanted to do was  to live a  great life… and be loved by my friends and my family.. and god… .  to be  honest and caring and  get to do all the  regualr nice great  experiences in life…  but i  definitely did not have to go through any of this… it did not make me stronger.. or tougher or  better in any way shape or form….  nor did i want to… nor is it God’s  will… it was set in motion by  a group of people who have not only profited off these horrible experiences.. but have completely and utterly damaged my life through them….