so everyone keeps telling me that i won tget to  marry or even date that great tall,  thinish, blond blueeyed guy who is amazing… and actually loves me for real…. that next lifetime i will get to have a much better expereince from teh age of 35 and beyond…  so in my next lifetime… or maybe if God is a  wonderful God.. one who actually really does know me.. who knows my likes, my wants, my wishes.. and my dreams… maybe he will also knwo that it woudl have been so fun if on today.. halloween.. even  though it is my worst favorite holliday.. ( cant do scary… i mean i really can’t do scarey… ..but next ime.. wheni have that great husband… we may even carve a pumpkin… and  decorate the house… and  our littel girls.. or blond children… will get o get dressed up….  something really unique… an funny.. and clever… and if we take the girls out.. for trick or treating…  it will of course be safe… and fun… adn allthe candy…HA!…. then when  halloween is over.. the really great holidays willstart.. i jsut love thanks giving..and christmas ..my altime favorite… ( hey jsut a thought  maybe this year God will bless me with  that multimillion dollar powerball or lottery ticket…powerball …. already up to $240 some million …..  yep that must be it..  after all this hell… it will  be by this christmas… when all my wishes and dreams will come true..I guess ….probably  except my  dating or marryng that pince charming..HA!… or shall we say gingerbreadman…  with all the icing.. and decorations.. and he will be absolutely great…. GOD I HOPE SO>>>>