surprisingly,  the code that I had changed for the combination lock wasn’t working … I tried a bunch of different variations of the numbers I used in case i mixed up the numbers… but i had written down the combination before i went to bed…. and all the other combinations were working just fine….  but the combination  lock for the briefcase…..  it wasn’t  working… not at all… so i had to take out my laptop…. and my modem and all the chords.. and lug that to babysitting… stopping off to get another  combination  lock to lock up the bags in hopes that  nothing would happen to my things while i was sitting this time..

The guys I bought the lock from were really sweet….. i told them it was to protect my things… that i had my keys and briefcase tampered with the last time i went babysitting…. they actually thought it may have happened at the airport… guess i was supposed to have gotten the chance to go on a trip(?)… nope that wasn’t me..though it would  have been lovely if i had.. but no…… no vacations.. no trips no new friends to share memories.. none of that for me… but i did get bullied.. and had the worst experiences of my life to write about…and worked for free and had jobs stolen… and had to go without anything I ever wanted or planned to have in my life..  

They also said I was valuable or something  like that……..or something  really sweet almost sounded or seemed to me to sound like they said I was special… of course I had to correct them….. It  couldn’t possibly be me that was valuable… from the bulling to the harassing phone calls to the liars.. to the thieves.. to everything that ruined my life… for the last  7 years of hell I  have had to endure.. from the sheer loneliness.. of being isolated from every family and friend… genuine friend….  there is no way that someone who was manipulating my life and ruining it on purpose  thought that i was valuable in the least…. especially when it started in 2003…..by that disgusting gerard ahler… and his gross martucci family… and the bully karen kahel….. with what they were allowed to do to my life… there is no way that i was even in the slightest considered valuable…

if i had been valuable.. i would have had a terrific life.. diner parties.. and new clothes.. new cars.. new furniture.. dates.. and just friends.. real and genuine friends that i could have known and grown together  with tons of wonderful memories… and laughter.. and fun…. real honest to goodness fun….  where someone wasn’t trying to put you down.. or lower your lifestyle or degrade your self esteem…trying to make you shop at walmart or target when you actually had  a Neiman Marcus card of your own and a gold American Expreess when your were traveling internationally to and from boarding school when you were 14  years old….or  have you go through traumatic experiences that will forever change who you are…. and change how you view the world and view every  person you meet…..with the skepticism… knowing that most of the people  you meet had harmed you and lied to you and didn’t care one bit about  it….  
 
Anyway… back to the lock that wouldn’t open…. then when i got home… i got on the computer.. mostly to use the magic jack.. to alert everyone that that gross fat disgusting gerard was here…in naples… by my home…. that i saw his fat fingers his gross and disgusting face.. hiding behind a steering wheel.. his greesey and disgusting seriouses  ridden body… UGGGG UCK>>>>> Gross……the pig who ruined my life…… 

Again.. off track… and in tears…but when i went to  go online again the hard drive is messed up.. all the corrupted files are on my hard drive… but just yesterday  it was fine.. all my files.. in neat folders as they should be.. all my documents and emails in order and with their corresponding titles…now everything is all messed up again.. and if i know anything about computers… this just  doesn’t happen all by itself… i even asked the guy at staples… and no it doesn’t happen all by itself… 

I had my money  belt on all day… never took it off while babysitting.. so the only conclusion that i can come up with is that somehow… someone  must have actually tampered with my money belt.. and with my briefcase lock.(?) but how… when i was in the shower??? when i was sleeping???? it was in my closet….and if someone was in my closet long enough to tamper with my hard drive…. and my briefcase… what else did they do????and who the hell is it??????….who thinks my life if theirs for the taking??????… and how were they  in  my closet long enough to mess with my locks and change my day and my life…. again ….. my life is not for sale.. for you to harm…… for your amusement… I am valuable.. i am not a replacement part that you can use in place of someone… i have my own wants.. and dreams.. and desires.. i had my own goals.. and wishes.. and my own life to live…

the third thing that is wrong… the magic jack..( yes.. due to all  the bullies.. and all the manipulation and con artist on the phone… and it seems like the millionth phone services i have tried…. ( o.k that is exaggerating a bit…. but it has been a lot…. )  I have resorted to using a magic jack… no cell phone since December  20th…(virgin Mobil… and the other magic jack number….  which no one ever helped me to fix…).

   I tried calling my aunt and was hung up on three times…( or disconnected… or she couldn’t hear me….)  I tried calling Mr. Dee a man I met at church ….. the phone  hung up on me  before i could get in a message..about three times…  and when i tried  calling Naples bay resort.. I got hung up on three times as well….then a few times when i tried calling and got the people they couldn’t hear me…  so to me it seems that my phone line is not as it should be…or definitely  not as it was yesterday.. or when my life was  just  working normal… too many coincidences for everything  to just  be  a coincidence and be all wrong….really wrong…..  wrong….. or or my one mode of communication to not be able to get a hold of anyone on the phone……and then i have to wonder if the criminals  are tampering with the phone again.. who the hell am i really talking to???? 

I have one  idiot on the phone who is supposed to be family… who is sticking up for the ohio state whore…. who wants her to  have everything she ever wants???

Noone i ever knew who ever loved me was ever like that.. also they now have a thyroid problem???? on top of cancer??? on top of  a heart condition??? on top of what other lie am i supposed to believe…… and before that ….. they used to ask for money…. $32,000.00 dollars for teeth repair.

I also have someone on the phone threatening me that I will get in trouble for telling the world that karen kahel is a bully for telling  the world that
gerard on the phone threatened to kill my mother… and had me in tears and shaking and crying while I begged him not to hurt my family…. that he or whoever was on the phone  got off harming my life… why should i get in trouble for telling the truth… when these peole are allowed to lie and cheat and steal… allowed to harm my life and make  me go through years of hell because they are evil…..and have nothing done to them….. who the hell threatens me???? says that i will get in trouble for telling the truth….

Could  it possibly be the whore or her buddies on the other end of the phone???? who but her buddies would ever say such horrid things to a victim????…..the  con artist and scummm of the earth….but then there was a silver mercedes with an ohio  state plate on the front that pulled into the complex  today….when i was pulling into my area of the complex……. and mysteriously I have been invited out tomorrow evening… is it enough time to what??? lie.. or cheat or steal something from someone…see even any simple invitation…  makes me wonder about the motivation.. or wonder how my life will be affected…. after everything that has happened.. it just  may never be the same again… and i will never forgive them for that… for taking away my pure joy and excitement in  honestly believing the best in people….  
like today… i saw all the cars going into my complex when i was leaving.. getting ready for a nice luncheon…perhaps.. a wedding or an engagement..or some other function…. but these mean and vicious girls….. who separated me from  ever having any of those great moments in my life… ever… who put me through hell… instead of great memories… who changed who i am … who i will be forever.. i will never in my life ever forgive their manipulations.. or them… who do they think they are….GOD??????? I hope their lives will be destroyed…on purpose…. then lets see what happens…..i honestly learned to hate…. never knew how to hate before .. but i know how to now… your girls and boys should be really proud of your selves …

Instead of helping anyone to achieve their own goals… or dreams… their passions or their heartfelt  mission in life….. nope… you taught me to be afraid…. to not trust.. to hate… and you taught me what it was like to be bullied.. to be tormented… or be lonely… to go without anything I ever wanted… are you proud of yourselves???? i guess you must be…… you won… right karen kahel?.. Isn’t that what said as you jumped up and down at my guard gate and told me in sheer joy and glee…while i was shaking in tears…….  that once you made me cry… that you won …….you won????        
I miss ..my mom and my father and my family and my genuine friends……. i miss laughing on the phone getting funny emails… sharing funny stories….. not constantly being lied to…….. being conned… being harmed and being the brunt of some evil girls joke….so what… she can make me look bad…. really classy girls…. wait….. so they can date and marry some really terrific boy?…steal a business? what is the real motivation?????  so they need to lie about where they have traveled.. or their education level… or what???? they will never be me… never know all my stories..or know all my experiences… 

I mean it was odd that i had people take   pictures of me while babysitting and while feeding their children the food they wanted them to eat… not what i would ever eat… not what i would want to eat… EVER…. but what the supposed parents asked me to feed them… they are not my children..

 Anyway…..is it legal to take such photos?  is that a form of invasion of privacy?  …. I mean the only reason they are doing it is to manipulate  an image… something i would  not normally do….or something that  makes me look a certain way…in order to what?… have someone view it and think they wouldn’t possibly like me…. say a person was to  feed a child a certain food that to me wasn’t very healthy… but  they have it on film… to it must be what i normally do right?? i mean if it is on film.. it must be the truth right?…no…

But they never seem to get me reading the Wallstreet journal.. or watching CNBC or MSNBC.. or even reading articles from some of my favorite magazines…like Harvard business review…. or Forbes…or Robb report…or Entrepreneur….. or even Conte Nast….

I have had horrible women walk by and say under their breath that i was dressed inappropriately… as if my brooks brothers conservative cream dress and tan cashmere sweater wasn’t good enough… but these woman lie.. and tell lies all for what purpose??? Is there some great bachelors who needs wives???? and if  so…. these women will tear apart everyone for a chance to date them???? what type of a wife and friends of the wife would that eventually make???Sheesh… sounds like a horrible combination… mean girls to the hilt….. who destroy everyone for their own selfish intentions… what values and morals will they provide for their children?  to lie and cheat and whore around to get what you want??????…. wow…. really classy women…  

….or what about all the fake emails… that discredit what i am trying to achieve.. like protecting my identity… or protecting  my finances.. or protecting my life and livelihood……        

but then the idiots who think it is funny to ruin my life.. to hand over my life my business, my hard drives,.. my house keys,… my personal life, and my professional life….   to who?????  the cleaning crew?.. or the gardener?.. or the garbage man?… or the mechanic… or just  anyone who needs to have me work for free…. who wanted to steal from  me?… who wanted to  oeo the construction idiot who ruined my life?… anyone who knew them form new york?????…..so that karen kahel.. or some other girl who spread her legs to screw these boys who had money could get anything they wanted???……and if they  get knocked up will allow them to do and have anything they want and hurt anyone they want ….

where is JUSTICE AGAIN??????

I am not playing… this is my real life.. and you are ruining it!!!STOP IT!!!!!!!!